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Wednesday 12 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10736) - you deserved it (73938)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5447) - you deserved it (69053)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8738) - you deserved it (58514)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10886) - you deserved it (57650)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

#20402048
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6498) - you deserved it (48452)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (38114)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13025) - you deserved it (32697)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8323) - you deserved it (32523)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12471) - you deserved it (31957)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9080) - you deserved it (27753)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19525) - you deserved it (26022)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (25362)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (23364)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States



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