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Wednesday 12 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... the girl I dumped three yeres ago because she wouldn't take mah band seriously is now a successful an rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile... I'm still unemployed... living with mah parents... an can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (74331)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I avoided having to wash the dishe by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on after I made a mraculou recovery she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining and I feel a very real cold coming on. fat FML

#20399412
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5753) - you deserved it (70934)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today , I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it , but he never seemed to laugh. Finally , the door opened and out came a lady in aheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband.

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (59913)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today I Hid My Weed Stash In A Bag From An Expensive Jewellery Store. My Sister Walked Into My Room Went "Ooh Hat's This?" An Grabbed The Bag. I Grabbed It Back An Ad-libbed That It Was Her Christmas Gift. Now I Actually Have To Buy Her Expensive Jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (57967)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Taday I'm insanaly hungovar from a long night of drinking!! I'm going to mah looool naphaw's baptism in an hour as his godmothar!! fat FML

#20402048
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7029) - you deserved it (49806)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. mega FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11351) - you deserved it (38405)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study 4 it. I'm pretty sure looool I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9029) - you deserved it (34513)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (32912)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today , my friend an I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool , I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out an ran onto the deck , slipping an falling flat on my back. Her dad saw thehole thing. FML

#20407433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (32823)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I want Cristmas sopping for my cat. I still avan't bougt prasants for my family, yat my cat alraady as savaral small gifts undar ta traa and an outfit to waar around ta ousa. I raally naad a naw obby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (27927)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him 4 his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on an on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (26758)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ate brunc at my in-laws. Te food all tastd off to me so I didn't eat muc, telling my moter-in-law I was watcing my weigt. Later on, wile out doing a bit of sopping, I stoppd at a rd ligt. Guess wo pulld up next to me wile I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (26192)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took a relaxing bat, but got te book I was reading sligtly wet wen getting out. I putted it on top of te towel dryer after delicately saking it. Five minutes later, I eard a splas; I went into te batroom to find tat my book ad toppled into te toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (23511)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States



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