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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56443) - you deserved it (3822)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (3736)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

#20402543
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm - love - by Miki (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (3492)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (3448)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (3337)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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