Tuesday 11 December 2012 
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Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (9705)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (9324)
On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (8928)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12268) - you deserved it (8776)
On 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (8162)
On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (7906)
On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States
Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13344) - you deserved it (7738)
On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (7641)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (7592)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (7162)
On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (7072)
On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (6840)
On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13719) - you deserved it (6623)
On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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