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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (2838)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (2723)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20148) - you deserved it (2705)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (2648)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (2638)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20093) - you deserved it (2605)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (2488)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

#20194701
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (2436)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States



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