Thursday 6 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20690) - you deserved it (2247)
On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (2216)
On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12524) - you deserved it (2196)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (2057)
On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (2035)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (2022)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (1928)
On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (1914)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15772) - you deserved it (1911)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17268) - you deserved it (1903)
On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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