Thursday 6 December 2012 
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Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13079) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20377) - you deserved it (3600)
On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (3550)
On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States
Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (3396)
On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19707) - you deserved it (3327)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (3159)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16767) - you deserved it (3134)
On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (2992)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18339) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (2813)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (2695)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14722) - you deserved it (2690)
On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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