Thursday 6 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4121) - you deserved it (17019)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (14567)
On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4772) - you deserved it (13555)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (13486)
On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (13254)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10149)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (9704)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (7641)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (7493)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14760) - you deserved it (7346)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (7073)
On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16605) - you deserved it (6840)
On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)
Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13719) - you deserved it (6623)
On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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