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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22583) - you deserved it (4419)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (3982)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (3941)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18410) - you deserved it (3760)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (3705)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13642) - you deserved it (3699)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (3588)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (3575)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (3457)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (3441)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20861) - you deserved it (3390)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States



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