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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (21157)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10874) - you deserved it (20929)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (15899)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35103) - you deserved it (14548)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (11188)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19810) - you deserved it (9660)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (9193)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (8618)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (7842)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17738) - you deserved it (7504)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (7229)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (6941)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)



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