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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

I WAS VISITING MA DAUGTER,OSE USBAND WAS STILL ASLEEP AT NOON!! I MADE A POINT OF STOMPING AROUND ON TE ARDWOOD FLOOR AND SPEAKING LOUDLY TO WAKE IS LAZY ASS UP!! TURNS OUT E'S NOW WORKING A 14-OUR GRAVEYARD SIFT, AND IT AS NO NEGATIVE EFFECT ON IS SOE-TROWING SKILLS!! FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5504) - you deserved it (76153)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

yesterday after two weeks of bieng grounded I was finally let out of the house by mah mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me because I got so drunk I told mah ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML

Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML

#20196447
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5201) - you deserved it (54402)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49579)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, mah girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. mega FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11351) - you deserved it (38405)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of local groceries store 4 employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicappd, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10929) - you deserved it (29086)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today.. . I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls.. . and why we're single . We somehow endd up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends.. . finding out that we both lyk hentai porn.. . and trading info on Japanese sex toys . FML

#20196663
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9147) - you deserved it (28870)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today during a conversation mah boss said "What what?" Before I could stop myself I replid "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28253)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today,hile at work taking notes on a pad of paper, mah boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6571) - you deserved it (27070)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5932) - you deserved it (26523)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

2day I was at the breakfast tablehen my sister started eating a banana. Before I knewhat was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait 4 her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (22894)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. mega FML

#20196348
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6651) - you deserved it (21594)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom



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