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Tuesday 4 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was snooping around in parents closet to see wat I would get for Christmas,hen I cummd across a UPS package. It was the video game I orderd off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressd to me. They told me it had never arrivd and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (4513)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot . I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime . I didn't realize she had been wereing headphones . She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station . My courage left . I said yes . FML

#20198068
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (4294)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Taday I thought I felt something itch mah butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just mah imagination, I did mah business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (4189)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I was bartending . A guest was getting belligerent so I ad to cut im off . He calld me a bitc and trew te rest of is drink in my face before storming off . Te belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend . big fat FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today... I realizd the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returnd to the store to get it removd... only to realize mah receipt was misplacd. The lady at the counter thought I stole it... calld security... and had me escortd out... dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a fight with grlfriend. After yelling and arguing point, cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, after telling mah young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (3855)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today mah boyfriand discovarad how to maka ma quaaf on damand whan ha has his fingars insida ma . I now faal lika mah lova lifa has baan raplacad with fart sounds . FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, I TOLD GIRLFRIEND TAT I'M BREAKING UP WIT ER CUZ SE'S VERY ABUSIVE. AFTER A COUPLE OF SECONDS OF AWKWARD SILENCE, SE KICKED ME IN TE NUTS AN RAN AWAY. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, mah boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, mah hand hit his shoulder and I dropped mah phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, mah dad was staring at us from outside. He still appear to think I was giving him head. fat FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (3722)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Ma Dog Died An I Told Ma Grandfater I Wanted Er To Be Cremated . I Cummed Ome Later To Find Im Burning Er In Our Barbecue Pit . FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)



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