Tuesday 4 December 2012 
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Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (2814)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16106) - you deserved it (2695)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14720) - you deserved it (2690)
On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (2627)
On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24336) - you deserved it (2613)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (2568)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (2568)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (2516)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (2453)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (2400)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16936) - you deserved it (2389)
On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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