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Saturday 1 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16983) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (2934)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25442) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (2743)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)



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