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Saturday 1 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (3119)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (3083)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (3059)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45135) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2880)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24689) - you deserved it (2866)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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