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Saturday 1 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15759) - you deserved it (3904)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (3875)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14932) - you deserved it (3867)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (3837)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (3699)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29753) - you deserved it (3688)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (3639)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20371) - you deserved it (3585)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (3561)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (3465)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (3453)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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