Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 1 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

#20190593
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12563) - you deserved it (3857)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:19am - animals - by SweetheartSusie (woman) - United Kingdom

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (3711)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18891) - you deserved it (3663)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (3652)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (3584)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (3555)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (3402)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

#20181084
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19967) - you deserved it (3341)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13902) - you deserved it (3101)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by