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Saturday 1 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (5386)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (5386)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25568) - you deserved it (5063)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (5008)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (4980)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (4794)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (4578)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (4515)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (4432)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18681) - you deserved it (4431)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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