Saturday 1 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (19021)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (18485)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain
Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (18291)
On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5948) - you deserved it (17971)
On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (17398) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4118) - you deserved it (17005)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (16624)
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12105) - you deserved it (14968)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (14565)
On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4772) - you deserved it (13551)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (13483)
On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (13247)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5223) - you deserved it (10750)
On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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