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Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (2459)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (2410)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (2401)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17763) - you deserved it (2371)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (2190)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35534) - you deserved it (2181)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (2170)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (2130)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (2094)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (2088)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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