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Friday 30 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20378) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (3509)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

#20181084
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (3351)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17436) - you deserved it (3157)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (3093)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18337) - you deserved it (2952)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11928) - you deserved it (2869)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15105) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15595) - you deserved it (2841)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (2813)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (2765)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12629) - you deserved it (2739)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)



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