Friday 30 November 2012 
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Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3753) - you deserved it (63119)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you deserved it (61722)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States
Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11044) - you deserved it (35912)
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4310) - you deserved it (29139)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4744) - you deserved it (25657)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8511) - you deserved it (25108)
On 11/26/2012 at 11:52am - kids - by ekm86 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8269) - you deserved it (24110)
On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8351) - you deserved it (22750)
On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (22157)
On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)
Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4666) - you deserved it (21226)
On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (19392)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (19362)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9462) - you deserved it (19022)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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