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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke!! He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids"!! How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44216) - you deserved it (6859)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I ran across te street due to a line of cars waiting fir me to cross. Just as I reaced te oter side, my iPone slipped out of my and an fell into te road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after te oter. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (6773)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today , I was riding the train and someone fartd. Everyone lookd at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (6281)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today , I was enjoying a nice bath , when one of mah cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet , until mah other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientiou cat owner , I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Yesterday, I facd a dilemma . If I don't let te cat sleep in my bedroom, se spends all nigt owling at te door, waking up my 2-year-old in te process . If I do let er in, te dog gets distressd an cews te contents of te bin . If I let bot of tem in, I ave no room to sleep . FML

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

TADAY I JOKINGLY TRIED TO CONVINCE MA GRLFRIEND TAT WYOMING WAS A GOVERNMENT CONSPRACY AND DID NOT EXIST. SE BELIEVED ME. MEGA FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today... my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wereing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of mah shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is mah favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing mah own boobs because they smelled like mah ex-boyfriend. FML

2day I've Now Workd On Tanksgiving.. . Black Friday.. . Te Weekend After Tat.. . And Two Days Tis Week . My Usband And Son Ave Ad All Tat Time Off.. . And Yet I've Still Endd Up Aving To Clean Te Dises And Te Ouse After Tem On All Of Tese Days . FML

#20181186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25538) - you deserved it (5061)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today , I ad a presentation in Frenc class. I was so nervous , te frst ting I said wen I got up tere was , "Hola." FML

#20193303
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25217) - you deserved it (4792)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, mah girlfriend confronted me 4 forgetting to take the trash out . At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped mah lips . looool She spent the next ten minute calling me stupid and laughing at how mah grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed . mega FML

#20185423
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (4431)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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