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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday Two Of My Friend Condemned Me Fir Being "narrow-minded", Cuz I Couldn't Help But Laugh At The Thought That Someone Would Believe Mermaid Actually Exist. FML

#20185421
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17723) - you deserved it (4341)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or heres something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly calld the waiter over an paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returnd, he broke up with me for ( emasculating ) him. fat FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today mah cat peed on mah bra !! I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work 4 mah 12-hour shift !! Now I'm trying to wash mah bra out in the sink an stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture !! Only 10 more hours to go an the smell of cat pee is still lingering !! FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I was bartending . A guest was getting belligerent so I ad to cut im off . He calld me a bitc and trew te rest of is drink in my face before storming off . Te belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend . big fat FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today , I want to Hollistar with mah grandmothar . Sha immadiataly startad yalling about tha music baing too loud , and ordarad tha staff to "shut tha damn thing off" . Sha was yalling at a bunch of mannaquins . FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

TODAY, MAH 5 KIDS WERE SINGING THIER FAVORITE CHRISTMA CAROL IN THE VAN, EACH TRYING TO SING LOUDER THAN THE OTHERS. IT WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SOUNDED BETTER IF THEY WERE ALL SINGING THE SAME ONE. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21699) - you deserved it (4075)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

today mah grlfriend got into the Christmas cheerhile giving me a hand job, smashing mah nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells!! FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got into a fight with grlfriend. After yelling and arguing point, cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (3869)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, after telling mah young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (3855)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today mah boyfriand discovarad how to maka ma quaaf on damand whan ha has his fingars insida ma . I now faal lika mah lova lifa has baan raplacad with fart sounds . FML

#20189453
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3805)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, I TOLD GIRLFRIEND TAT I'M BREAKING UP WIT ER CUZ SE'S VERY ABUSIVE. AFTER A COUPLE OF SECONDS OF AWKWARD SILENCE, SE KICKED ME IN TE NUTS AN RAN AWAY. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada



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