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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (1908)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

#20190350
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (1879)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (1871)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (1803)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

#20194448
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (1791)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (1772)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (1758)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (1665)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (1584)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21081) - you deserved it (1575)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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