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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15265) - you deserved it (5566)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (5143)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (4419)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16722) - you deserved it (4030)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

#20185423
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14831) - you deserved it (3849)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (3797)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (3706)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (3632)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)



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