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Tuesday 27 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you deserved it (81762)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6054) - you deserved it (41826)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6307) - you deserved it (36646)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10606) - you deserved it (35143)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7047) - you deserved it (29096)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (28424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11884) - you deserved it (28002)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7788) - you deserved it (27640)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (27576)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9565) - you deserved it (27139)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (26736)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (25760)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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