Tuesday 27 November 2012 
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Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (17402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (16625)
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12123) - you deserved it (14986)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (13255)
On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5225) - you deserved it (10750)
On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10149)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16679) - you deserved it (8753)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (8098)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24444) - you deserved it (6478)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (5947)
On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (5651)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14734) - you deserved it (5463)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (4988)
On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)
Friday 24 May 2013
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