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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8145) - you deserved it (82748)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6227) - you deserved it (42581)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (36786)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10885) - you deserved it (35706)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7086) - you deserved it (29205)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (28524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (28080)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (27250)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10077) - you deserved it (26818)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (25349)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8119) - you deserved it (24360)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10321) - you deserved it (21556)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia



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