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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (2913)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (2872)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (2859)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (2739)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (2738)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (2704)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (2588)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (2585)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)



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