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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyd, I turnd around and rantd about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explaind that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. mega FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (84717)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (67159)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today , I took a picture of myself wereing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples , captioned , "I hope u enjoyed your dinner , now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (44402)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm Recovering In The Emergency Room. How Did I Get Here? Intoxicatd At A Cod Party, I Saw A Hole In The Host's Shd And Thought It Funny To Christen It A "glory-hole", Only To Be Bitten By Wat May Well Have Been A Black Widow Spider. Big Fat FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6416) - you deserved it (43336)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought mah sold-out tickets on the black market 4 double the retail price, an have no way of getting mah money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11377) - you deserved it (36846)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, trying to be kinkyhile giving mah boyfriend a blow job, Ihippd him with mah ponytail!! He was thrilld, until I accidentally head-buttd his dick!! He curld up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again!! FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (32884)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, ma friend and I were playing trut or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so tey dard me to run nakd into ma neigbor's yard wile yelling, "Help! Te pixie looool took ma penis!" I ran screaming rigt into tere big family reunion.

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (32532)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, an a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (31365)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

2DAY I WAS AT MAH GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE HAVING DINNER WITH HER AND HER PARENTS. I WAS CASUALLY PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH MAH GIRLFRIEND UNDER THE TABLE... UNTIL HER MOM STOPPD EATING AND SAID... "YOU KNOW THAT'S MAH FOOT... RIGHT?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (29952)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

today my dad groundd me 4 two weeks 4 profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing he actually acceptd my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost my grounding period would double. We playd. He kickd my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (29331)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version



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