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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13899) - you deserved it (3101)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18184) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (2962)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (2911)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15187) - you deserved it (2862)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (2771)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (2608)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14102) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11668) - you deserved it (2520)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14342) - you deserved it (2481)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)



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