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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (14872)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (14855)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47077) - you deserved it (13968)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (11912)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (10877)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30895) - you deserved it (8794)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (8146)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (8064)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (7976)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (7938)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (7147)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18280) - you deserved it (6861)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (6602)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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