Thursday 22 November 2012 
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Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10119) - you deserved it (20357)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (18911)
On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5949) - you deserved it (17969)
On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8460) - you deserved it (17915)
On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5577) - you deserved it (17389) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5001) - you deserved it (17132)
On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7754) - you deserved it (16620)
Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12090) - you deserved it (14944)
On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States
Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5369) - you deserved it (14899)
On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4937) - you deserved it (14882)
On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8176) - you deserved it (14769)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13850) - you deserved it (11356)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19808) - you deserved it (10218)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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