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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8332) - you deserved it (24738)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

#20177683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6422) - you deserved it (24516)

On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (23928)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15629) - you deserved it (21419)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (21298)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5911) - you deserved it (20329)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9501) - you deserved it (20318)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9050) - you deserved it (19169)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8655) - you deserved it (18363)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6436) - you deserved it (17383)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15703) - you deserved it (14616)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (14219)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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