Tuesday 20 November 2012 
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Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (2047)
On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (2024)
On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)
Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (1980)
On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16220) - you deserved it (1971)
On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (1952)
On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)
Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (1931)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (1885)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18309) - you deserved it (1867)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)
Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (1863)
On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16735) - you deserved it (1770)
On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13990) - you deserved it (1767)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17127) - you deserved it (1747)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (1719)
On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Monday 17 June 2013
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