Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23712) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14096) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (2520)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14337) - you deserved it (2481)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12783) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17508) - you deserved it (2196)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (2118)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16824) - you deserved it (2115)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29993) - you deserved it (2081)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (2051)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by