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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8462) - you deserved it (17919)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

#20177683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5001) - you deserved it (17132)

On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (16623)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5369) - you deserved it (14900)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4937) - you deserved it (14884)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (14776)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (11361)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (10223)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8165) - you deserved it (9664)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36431) - you deserved it (9573)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (9191)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

#20171929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4651) - you deserved it (8900)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16670) - you deserved it (8752)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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