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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24502) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (4469)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (4249)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (4116)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (3922)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (3719)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (3639)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31240) - you deserved it (3556)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (3498)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (3442)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24448) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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