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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (6348)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15253) - you deserved it (6202)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (5507)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (5275)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (5233)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (4996)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19519) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (4328)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (4270)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26131) - you deserved it (4163)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14119) - you deserved it (4065)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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