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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2906)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (2881)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38750) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16493) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18881) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (2616)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17525) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18262) - you deserved it (2534)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)



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