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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (21563)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (17825)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (17507)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14632) - you deserved it (16814)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (16753)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52168) - you deserved it (15288)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (12005)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (9905)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (9080)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (8859)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (8773)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (8545)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20896) - you deserved it (7747)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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