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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discoverd both how much I really talk to myselfhen I'm drinking alone an how thin the walls of my apartment are. I hered my own slurrd voice coming from my nieghbor's apartment. They had recordd me an made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8286) - you deserved it (18856)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (16340)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

2day mah long-distance boyfriend an I decidd to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumd that mah dad was asleep an did some drty talk. When we were done, I heard mah dad laughing outside mah room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29685) - you deserved it (15988)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Yesterday I yet again purposely avoidd the 'Health an Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up . real FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7786) - you deserved it (15809)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah mom had a tantrum an screamed at me over mah use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch an claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12088) - you deserved it (14969)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML

#20174722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (14548)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked ma boyfriend if e'd rater play te new Assassin's Creed game or ave a nigt of sex wit me . He started crying from indecision . FML

#20176354
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (10967)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, bieng blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (9398)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I called off my engagement , after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job , and in anticipation of getting married , I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed , so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. real FML

#20170919
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (8473)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, mah girlfriend admittd to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team,hich at first turnd me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (8265)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

I Was Blessd With A Girlfriend Who Loves Giving Blowjobs!! And Cursd With A Girlfriend Who Is Also Somehow Really Bad At Them!! FML

#20174308
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (8136)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with three of mah friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them . Halfway through the movie, mah friend asked me y I wasn't eating our popcorn . I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me . FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (7592)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself an the person in the next stall. In rush to get out of there, I managed to get ass stuck in the toilet seat, an ended up bieng pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17845) - you deserved it (7170)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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