Tuesday 13 November 2012 
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Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4180) - you deserved it (34572)
On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (29720)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25205)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (24277)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (21808)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by iwannaberich - United States (California)
Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7632) - you deserved it (21421)
On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11436) - you deserved it (21410)
On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (19374)
On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5160) - you deserved it (19229)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7693) - you deserved it (18919)
On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10929) - you deserved it (18871)
On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4993) - you deserved it (18264)
On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (17920)
On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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