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Monday 12 November 2012

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Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm / Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska) / Health

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

by sarahijklmnop / 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

by makiju / 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm / Work

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

by soldnone / 11/18/2012 at 5:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

by siciliano12594 / 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM / 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

by Superman / 11/15/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

by KtSue / 11/12/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Health

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

by he's mine / 11/14/2012 at 2:46am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

by racking-leaves / 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous