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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (1528)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13272) - you deserved it (1483)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12160) - you deserved it (1477)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

#20165827
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (1432)

On 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14639) - you deserved it (1419)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15068) - you deserved it (1416)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15313) - you deserved it (1395)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11908) - you deserved it (1372)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (1343)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (1342)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States



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