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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (2496)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (2477)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you deserved it (2425)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (2349)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17796) - you deserved it (2313)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (2310)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (2214)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)



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