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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27691) - you deserved it (2863)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (2787)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (2721)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (2710)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (2600)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (2588)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18411) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21520) - you deserved it (2508)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)



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