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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (4012)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (4006)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (3998)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22062) - you deserved it (3929)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33093) - you deserved it (3762)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25122) - you deserved it (3755)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (3356)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States



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