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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (5144)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (4829)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (4577)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (4303)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (4286)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (4249)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (4013)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17732) - you deserved it (3982)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

#20153506
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (3898)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm - work - by Owen - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (3850)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



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