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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (5098)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (4670)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (4560)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (4323)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33267) - you deserved it (4289)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (4272)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (4269)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (4115)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (4016)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22983) - you deserved it (4012)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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