Sunday 11 November 2012 
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Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4999) - you deserved it (16916)
On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5102) - you deserved it (14842)
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10066) - you deserved it (14486)
On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4882) - you deserved it (12561)
On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6672) - you deserved it (12164)
On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6240) - you deserved it (12093)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17903) - you deserved it (10767)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10660) - you deserved it (7840)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15175) - you deserved it (6209)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (142) - you deserved it (6021)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18583) - you deserved it (5840)
On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (5347)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (5207)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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