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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (2273)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (2199)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30378) - you deserved it (2154)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (2147)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25051) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44579) - you deserved it (2092)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (2066)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (2051)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (2048)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (2032)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States



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