Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (2404)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24905) - you deserved it (2364)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (2300)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (2252)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (2246)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (2225)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (2218)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, I found my fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

#20140302
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33854) - you deserved it (2184)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: