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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (2808)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (2793)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (2745)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2635)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (2593)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22739) - you deserved it (2547)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (2511)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2447)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (2447)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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