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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (4706)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (4680)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29061) - you deserved it (4549)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (4488)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (4399)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (4314)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17211) - you deserved it (4307)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (4016)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15608) - you deserved it (3996)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16831) - you deserved it (3964)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16679) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)



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